EMDR Explained: Transform How You Experience the Past
EMDR Explained: Transform How You Experience the Past
Sometimes we hold on to things longer than we realize: past experiences, emotional wounds, or moments where we didn’t feel safe. Even years later, those memories can show up as anxiety, intrusive thoughts, or reactions that feel “too big” for the situation. Many clients enter my office understanding why they feel the way they do, frustrated when their body reacts as if the past is happening right now.
And the thing is, they’re not doing anything wrong.
This is a normal trauma response to experiences their brain hasn’t fully processed yet. Here is where EMDR can help.
EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) is an evidence-based therapy that helps people heal from trauma, anxiety, relationship wounds, and other emotional experiences that feel “stuck.” While the name may sound unusual, the process is structured, grounded, and backed by decades of research.
Below, I’ll break down what EMDR is, how it works, and how to know if it might be the right fit for you.
What Is EMDR? (In Plain Language)
EMDR helps your brain reprocess distressing experiences so they no longer feel overwhelming, triggering, or emotionally charged.
Think of it like this: someone shows up at your house unexpectedly. You panic at the clutter and shove everything into a closet. It works for the moment. Things look organized, and you feel safe enough to answer the door. But if you never go back to sort through the closet, the clutter eventually spreads to other areas of your home.
Your brain works the same way. Most experiences are processed and stored without any issues. But when something overwhelms your system (trauma, chronic stress, attachment wounds, or moments where you didn’t feel safe), the memory doesn’t get properly “filed.” Instead, it stays active, showing up as:
Intrusive thoughts
Anxiety or panic
Strong emotional reactions
Shame or self-blame
Relationship patterns you can’t break
Body tension or shutting down
With the help of a trained therapist, EMDR uses bilateral stimulation (usually eye movements or tapping) to help your brain process these memories. While the memory remains, the emotional charge usually decreases, leaving you feeling calmer, clearer, and more grounded.
What EMDR Can Help With
EMDR is widely known for treating PTSD, but it’s effective for much more. People often seek EMDR for:
Childhood trauma or emotional neglect
Relationship wounds and attachment trauma
Anxiety and panic attacks
Intrusive thoughts
Grief and loss
Low self-worth or shame
Traumatic breakups or betrayal
Phobias or performance anxiety
Stressful medical experiences
Chronic stress or burnout
If a memory or emotional pattern keeps showing up in your life, EMDR may help you process it and move forward.
How Do You Know If EMDR Is Right for You?
You don’t need to know ahead of time whether EMDR is the right approach; that’s something you and your therapist can decide together. However, EMDR may be a good fit if:
You understand your trauma intellectually, but still feel triggered emotionally
You’ve tried talk therapy and made progress, but something still feels stuck
Your reactions sometimes feel bigger than the situation
Past events still feel “present” in your body
You experience flooding, shutting down, looping thoughts, or flashbacks
You want deeper healing, not just coping
What to Expect in Your First EMDR Session
Many people worry they’ll have to dive straight into their most painful, traumatic memory, but EMDR doesn’t work that way. Instead, it has eight structured phases, with the first session focusing on history-taking, building safety, and understanding your needs.
In your first appointment, you can expect to:
Talk about what brought you in and what you hope to work on
Learn more about how EMDR works
Share past therapy experiences
Explore what safety and grounding feel like for you
Begin building skills you’ll use during EMDR (like resourcing or grounding techniques)
EMDR begins only after you and your therapist feel safe, supported, and regulated — a foundation that makes the process effective and manageable.
What EMDR Feels Like During a Session
People often describe EMDR sessions as:
Emotional, but productive
Connecting dots they didn’t realize were related
Surprising due to memories or insights arising naturally
Relieving due to emotional intensity decreasing
Empowering as they feel more in control than expected
The best part? You don’t have to force anything. Your brain does the work, while your therapist guides the process safely.
How Quickly Does EMDR Work?
This varies from person to person. Some notice shifts after a few sessions, while others take longer. The key is pacing that feels safe, sustainable, and respectful of your nervous system. Healing is never rushed; EMDR simply helps it happen more efficiently.
Ready to Try EMDR? We’re Here to Help
If you’re curious about EMDR or need support with intrusive thoughts, trauma, or anxiety, reach out today to learn more about how EMDR therapy can help, or schedule a session with one of our EMDR-trained therapists.
With the right support, it’s possible to feel calmer, more connected, and more like yourself again.
Meet Tess
About The Author
Tess Krimmer, MA, AMFT (AMFT157358), is supervised by Jeremy Mast, MS, MDiv, LMFT, CSAT, CPTT (CA90961), and earned her Master of Arts in Clinical Psychology from Pepperdine University. Recognizing that healing can often feel overwhelming and uncertain, Tess offers a supportive, judgment-free space where clients are invited to gently explore and make sense of the parts of themselves that may feel confusing, painful, or difficult to face. When appropriate, she integrates EMDR techniques to assist clients in processing difficult memories and easing emotional distress, empowering them to build a stronger sense of self and more fulfilling connections along the way.
