Bringing Unconditional Love into the Therapy Room
Bringing Unconditional Love into the Therapy Room
So many of my clients suffer from being raised in homes where love was either absent, inconsistent or highly conditional. As young children, they tried everything they could to receive what they inherently and deeply know is their birthright; unconditional love.
Remarkably, despite having not received it, my clients still know deep down that they deserve unconditional love, and even more remarkably, they strive to give it to their children.
Yet, they struggle. They struggle with the damage that is a result of not having received it, they struggle to trust, to let down their guard and be vulnerable, to have needs and ask for them to be met. They struggle with feeling their feelings honestly, with communicating effectively, with low self-worth, lots of shame, and with having appropriate boundaries in relationships.
As a therapist, I strive to help them get back in touch with what they know they deserve, to reconnect them to unconditional love. Without doing so, I may be able to teach them skills, but I won’t be going deep enough to access the real problem, the void which is the absence of unconditional love.
Once unconditional love is accessed, progress can be made. We can unburden child parts of ourselves, who have been carrying the weight of hypervigilance, fear, distrust, disgust and shame. We can offer unconditional support and caring for feelings, thoughts and beliefs which have been suppressed in order to survive. My clients learn to stay with, not run from, their pain. We do this in many different ways. Somatically, by finding the source of distress in the body, and offering it unconditional love and support. We often use EMDR to reprocess and deactivate suppressed memories, thoughts, feelings and negative beliefs. We use parts work to get to know all of our “protectors” who have worked so hard to help us all these years. We make space for unconditional love to take over the burden, because, as it turns out, this love can handle it all.
f this message resonates with you, or if you find yourself longing to reconnect with that sense of unconditional love within yourself, we’re here to help. You can reach out to Shoshana or connect with the Client Care Specialist at the Center for Integrative Change (CIC) to learn more about starting therapy or finding the right support for your healing journey. You don’t have to carry this alone—unconditional love and understanding are waiting for you here.
About The Author
Shoshana is a licensed clinician supervised by Jeremy Mast, MS, MDiv, LMFT, CSAT (LMFT 90961). Shoshana works primarily with individual adults and couples. Her experience includes trauma, sex addiction, betrayal trauma, as well as a variety of mental health concerns. Shoshana enjoys exploring new adventures in nature and spending time with family and friends.
