What Are Intrusive Thoughts & How To Stop Them
What Are Intrusive Thoughts & How To Stop Them
Intrusive thoughts are something almost everyone experiences, but few people talk about. They show up uninvited, often at the most inconvenient moments — a harsh self-criticism in a conversation, a random “what if” that feels scary or out of character. While these thoughts can be uncomfortable, they’re actually a normal part of how the brain works. The key is learning to recognize them for what they are — just thoughts.
For many of us, our inner voice can be our biggest bully. The good news? We can teach that voice to soften and help a kinder, more balanced one take the lead.
What Are Intrusive Thoughts?
Intrusive thoughts are unwanted, repetitive, and distressing thoughts that pop into your mind — usually when you don’t want them to. They can be about anything, but common themes include:
Fear of harming yourself or others
Unwanted sexual or violent thoughts or images
Fear of germs or contamination
Thoughts that go against your morals or religious beliefs
Thoughts about death or bad things happening
These thoughts can feel alarming, largely because they go against your values—they don’t reflect who you are or what you want. This often leaves people feeling confused, guilty, and even ashamed. The key thing to remember is that these thoughts don’t define you. They’re just mental spam — random, automatic, and often meaningless.
When Does a Thought Become Intrusive?
A thought might be intrusive when:
It upsets you or makes you question your morals or values
It convinces you that you’ve done something wrong, even when you haven’t
It keeps happening and starts to feel like a “sign” or a gut feeling
You can’t stop thinking about it, and find yourself looping back to it over and over
While intrusive thoughts are a normal part of being human, if they start causing a lot of distress, anxiety, or avoidance, it might help to talk to a therapist who can support you in understanding and managing them.
How to Work With Intrusive Thoughts
Strategy #1: Thoughts & Feelings Aren’t Facts
Just because you think it, doesn’t make it true.
Ask yourself:
“What’s the evidence for and against this thought?”
“Can I step back and observe this thought without taking it personally?”
“If a friend said this out loud, how would I respond to them?”
Strategy #2: Unlearning the Thought-Emotion Link
When a thought pops up and a strong emotion follows (such as anxiety, anger, or fear), your brain begins to pair the two together. It learns that the thought must be “important” because it gets such a strong reaction. Over time, the goal is to notice the thought without giving it that power.
Ask yourself:
“What emotion is showing up with this thought, and is it the same one that always
follows?”“Is my brain confusing discomfort with danger right now?”
“What would it look like to respond to the feeling differently this time, even if the
thought stays the same?”
Strategy #3: Try Self-Compassion & Curiosity Instead of Judgment
It’s easy to beat yourself up for even having these thoughts — but that only keeps the cycle going. Instead, remember that your brain is trying (in a clumsy way) to keep you safe
Ask yourself:
“Can I allow this thought to be here without judging myself for it?”
“What was happening right before this thought showed up? Is it possible I’m misreading or misinterpreting something here?”
“What’s a more balanced or compassionate thought I could replace this with?”
Important Takeaways:
Intrusive thoughts are a normal human experience; the trick is finding ways to manage them so they don't run the show.
Intrusive thoughts are just that…thoughts. When you learn to recognize that you have no desire to act on them, they can lose their power.
Your brain has probably practiced this pattern for a long time. It might take time to rewire, but if you learned it, you can unlearn it.
If intrusive thoughts have started to feel overwhelming or hard to manage on your own, you don’t have to figure it out alone. At the Center for Integrative Change, our therapists can help you understand what’s happening beneath the surface and build tools to quiet the noise.
If you’re ready to take the next step, we’d love to meet you — reach out today to schedule a session.
Meet Tess Krimmer
About The Author
Tess Krimmer, MA, AMFT (AMFT157358), is supervised by Jeremy Mast, MS, MDiv, LMFT, CSAT, CPTT (CA90961), and earned her Master of Arts in Clinical Psychology from Pepperdine University. Recognizing that healing can often feel overwhelming and uncertain, Tess offers a supportive, judgment-free space where clients are invited to gently explore and make sense of the parts of themselves that may feel confusing, painful, or difficult to face. When appropriate, she integrates EMDR techniques to assist clients in processing difficult memories and easing emotional distress, empowering them to build a stronger sense of self and more fulfilling connections along the way. Off the clock: When not in session, I enjoy trail running, woodwork, and lounging at the beach with my black lab, Theo.
